Why do I practice kundalini yoga?

Oh man, here she goes talking about something kooky! Some of you may have heard of kundalini. Perhaps, even some of you practice it yourself. Or there may be some of you who just gave google a whirl and are now saying to yourself, yikes, who is this lady? 

Wherever you fall on that spectrum, that’s ok, because what works for me, may not work for you. But, if you want to hear more about how I discovered one of the ways that makes my soul sing, read on.

Kundalini makes me feel good. It creates heat in my body through movement and breath. It conditions my nervous system to handle stress and discomfort. It makes me more resilient. 

Using my voice to chant mantra gets me out of my crazy monkey brain and into the deep wisdom of my feeling body. It gives me peace. 

When I complete a kriya, I often experience a wave of emotion and release. Sometimes I feel exhilarated. My joy is palpable. I am ALIVE. Other times I feel as though my entire body has been wrung out like a wet towel. I’ve moved a considerable amount of stagnant energy through my body, and I’m ready to melt into my bed. 

I first experienced kundalini yoga in my 200 hour Meditation Teacher training through Sukha Yoga in Austin, Texas, and man was I hooked. Give me more of this, I thought. But then doubt quickly crept up and whispered, why do you feel this good? Kundalini is weird. You have always been such a little weirdo!

And then my now husband also whispered his own doubt, What are you chanting in the bedroom? Why does that guy wear a white turban? Can’t you have any normal hobbies? 

Ouch. Shame steamrolled me. I didn’t want to have to justify why my soul found so much peace and joy in this practice, and I so desperately wanted to be free to experience this part of my human experience. I wanted him to see me and celebrate my joy and freedom with me. I wanted him to affirm for me that kundalini isn’t weird, and I’m not weird for enjoying it as much as he enjoys Sunday Football. 

But you know what friends, sometimes we don’t get what we want. Shocker I know. My husband challenging and questioning what my soul was telling me was actually a gift  and continues to be one of the best things he could have ever done for me. It created an experience that required me to go inward and explore. Why is this important to me? What is this going to cost me? Is this worth it? 

And when I tuned in to my own true Knowing, my justifications melted away, and I found confidence to own this desire of my soul. For myself. For no one else. And in that I found freedom.